In Dan Brown’s latest, The Lost Cymbal, I learned a lot. I’m so glad I found it for 20% off at CVS, because obv there is a RECESSION and even though my library ordered like a trillion copies, they were all pre-checked out. The book has these twists and turns that are unpredictive and nobody knows where the text even is – also sometimes I had my cat, Mr. Pillows, flip pages for me so skipping a couple here and there added to the mystery. It also made me finish the book way faster than anyone in my book club. (So go to h-e-doublehockeystix, Sarah Parker!)
Anyway, so there were three really great characters in this book: The Professor, Higgins the Pug, and Mistress Charlene. Higgins is a famous drummer in a band in the 18th century, I think. The whole thing is historical in a conspiracy way. Such as for example, did history happen? So Higgins flips his shit at this person who heckles him during a parade, and he goes to facially attack the guy. When he comes back he cannot find his drum part. Thus begins the PLOT. Higgins goes to a spooky monastery where he finds The Professor, a Canadian Jewish folk singer who used to do a lot of chicks and meth (though they don't say "meth") but then decided to give it up for life as a monk/private investigator. Things get kinda hazy at the monastery in a place called Tibet, because there’s a lot of fog up there. As they walk around the mountain, The Professor chants a lot and Higgins barks and then comes Mistress Charlene, a current what modern day people would call prostitute. It’s weird because Mistress Charlene doesn’t give it up right away but she is clearly trying to seduct all the other characters and I always knew she was in on the stealing or because what kind of hooker plays hard to get? Anyway that’s only like 30 pages into the book. But they all fall down in this avalanche and land in a cave. In the cave they find this secret code scraped into the cave walls. Then the mystery is more about Jesus than drum parts, and it’s good because Sarah Parker is not as good of a Christian as me and this book will prove that. That's my fave part of the book except for the sentences!
So to “cut a long story short” (my prof says I can’t write “in conclusion,” lol) I am really super glad Dan Brown completed his book trilogy but I am also sad because he needs to write faster! And give true fans of his work first dibs.
Le Rating: 4 Eiffel Towers!
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